Since Purim is past, I can put up a brief compendium of news stories that should be satires. Well, actually, if we made this stuff up, you would accuse us of third-degree cynicism. But we’re innocent. This stuff really happened.
- In Maryland, the Washington Post reports, a Muslim woman was told to leave a line in a bank and be served in a back room because she was wearing a scarf over her hair. The bank said it had a “no hats, hoods or sunglasses” policy, intended to prevent robberies and identity theft. Giving the bank the benefit of the doubt, the clerks did not believe that she was hiding an assault rifle under her scarf. So apparently, they found it absolutely impossible to verify a person’s identity when her hair was covered. Perhaps this is part of an “all those people look the same” policy, which may apply equally to Muslim women and Orthodox Jewish women who cover their hair.Update: The bank has apologized. Readers are invited to let us know as soon as Daniel Pipes attacks the bank for imposing sharia law by allowing headscarves.
- A Jerusalem rabbinic court ruled that the
adopted* son of the late, famed Jewish philosopher Emil Fackenheim was not Jewish, and had never been Jewish, even though he had undergone an ultra-Orthodox conversion at age 2 and was married under the auspices of the Israeli Chief Rabbinate in 2001. Ha’aretz reports that the court made the decision when Yossi Fackenheim and his wife went to the court for a religious divorce. You don’t need a divorce, the court told him, because you were never really married under Jewish law, because you are not a Jew, because you do not observe halakhah.Under halakhah, however, someone who has converted remains Jewish even if he or she ceases to observe halakhah. Therefore, the court was not observing halakhah. Therefore, if one of the judges was actually a convert, he should by his own logic declare himself not Jewish, thereby negating the court’s decision and reinstating Fackenheim.
- According to a report in Yediot Aharonot yesterday (not on line), the Foreign Ministry has requested 8 million shekels from the Finance Ministry for a PR campaign to improve Israel’s image after Operation Cast Lead. The report did not state how much money the Foreign Ministry would request for improving Israel’s image after Avigdor Lieberman is formally appointed foreign minister.
I fear that the Onion will soon go belly up. How can it compete?
*Correction: My apologies for misidentifying Yossi Fackenheim in the original post (see comment below).